Old habits

So I broke down.

It came down to the wire, and there was a moment after the baby went to bed when I stood with the Mt. Dew in my hand and debated opening it vs. going to bed. Ultimately, old habits won out and the still-strong writing pull I feel in the evenings, coupled with my frustration at the lack of progress so far, succeeded in getting me to the laptop.

I didn't advance the story, but I did get my August X posted and commented on all the others currently up. I at least feel productive. Even if I'm an hour past my projected bedtime, with stiff shoulders (I really need a better chair) and no wordcount progress.

I'm not giving up on mornings entirely. Just let me get caught up, ideally by midmonth (though that will be a stretch), and I'll give it another go.

Bleh...

Follow-up: I've spent all afternoon completely unmotivated, bummed that I'm 2-3K behind where I wanted to be today (I'm actually right at 62K, but haven't updated the counter), and wishing I could just go home and write tonight.

Some habits are hard to break.

I know I said - just this morning - that I would give myself time to adjust before giving up. It does have promise. But feeling overwhelmed and pressured isn't the best way to "ease" into a new situation. Now I'm wondering if I shouldn't just get caught up with writing first, then take a weekend to catch up on sleep, and start the new routine then, when I have a cushion. Starting out in the hole never bodes well.

OTOH, I'm loving actually being at work on time for a change. And the early morning drive is great - cool weather, no traffic. Too bad I can't stay up till midnight and get up at 5.

Gah. If I give in to my urges and write tonight, I'll feel better about my progress. But there's no way I'll be able to actually get up at 4 - even with a different alarm - if I do so.

Decisions, decisions...

P.S. And I just saw that the August X was up, and that's another thing I need to find time to do, but I'm so behind. I feel like the White Rabbit. *sigh*

Eh...

Day 2 of the new routine (3 if you count Sunday), and it could be going better. Yes, my computer screen is bigger, my desk chair is more comfortable, and I do have a nice quiet office space to work in. But.

I haven't been getting up or getting here as early as I'd like, and consequently I don't have as much time to write. Only about 1 hour instead of the 2-3 I'd been averaging at home. I'm just getting "in the groove" when I have to switch gears and head down for the morning meeting. Consequently, my word counts have bottomed out. Even though I keep my spreadsheet and the current scene file open on my computer all day - with glorious visions of popping in and out all day and racking up word count bit by bit - I never seem to manage to get back to it.

I realize this is a transition period, and once I'm used to getting up early (I may also switch alarms, since I seem to be immune to my clock anymore) I'll have more time and be more productive. Then the momentum from the morning may carry through into extra bits throughout the day. But in the meantime, I'm falling father behind - and I was behind coming into the month.

Also: my intent of spending more time with DH in the evenings isn't panning out. I thought we'd finally go to bed together instead of him kissing me goodnight while I worked on a scene, and then creeping into bed myself hours later. But 9:30-10 is too early for him to be tired. So now our positions are just reversed. *sigh*

But I can't give up after only 2 days. So tomorrow I'll set my cell phone alarm and see if I can't get here earlier. If it doesn't pan out in a week or so, I'll just hit the caffeine again and spend a week or so really pounding to catch up.

Changing it up

Today I started my new routine. I figured it was the best chance, since I spent most of Friday asleep after my oral surgery (for the record: dry sockets = bad) and got a lot of sleep on Saturday, too, for the same reason. So I set my alarm for 4:30 am - optimistic, I know - and ultimately rolled out of bed around 6. Heehee.

But. I did get a solid 2 hours of quiet, focused time to write. It was slow going, since I'm just trying to tie up the loose threads and get to the end in the new chapter 7. I only got about 300 words, but I'm okay with that.

I'm going to set the alarm for 4:30 again and try to be out of bed tomorrow morning by 5. Ultimately, I hope to be up by 4 am each morning, dressed and off to work by 5, which should give me about 3 hours to write (what I've been getting on the best nights: 9-midnight if I'm lucky) in my office before "clocking in" at 8. I'll give myself this week to ease into it. For all that I'm caught up on sleep, it's still a big shift in my circadian rhythm.

It's odd, because now that the baby's down I feel like I should be settling in to write, but instead I'm for bed. Oh, well. I'll get used to it...and if not I'll revert. *g*

Lastly - Fergus is this weekend! We're leaving at o-dark-thirty Friday morning and hoping to get half the drive in before Baby Boy wakes up. Then it'll be stop-and-go from there. Back late Sunday night. My brother is house/dog sitting while we're gone. This should be the last big trip of the year for me. Unless Jeopardy! calls. *crosses fingers*