Monday, November 12, 2007

And we're up!

Or I am, at least. My pitch is the very first one on today's list of critiques over at BookEnds:

Pitch Critiques Round 5

As I told Carol, I guess I should have sent her the one I sent EE, and sent him that one! All the detail was based on comments from EE's blog, after my nice, tight paragraph "left too many unanswered questions, i.e. how exactly did she end up in the past?"
Not really negative from her, though. I could wish she'd said if the concept or the rest of the hook worked for her, besides the fact that - as a "synopsis" rather than pitch - it was too long.
Guess I should take heart from the fact that she didn't say "BORING!" like she has for a few others.
And it really was nice of her and generous to offer the critiques in the first place. I really appreciate her doing it.
Still at the drawing board...
I also got my chapter of the group novel up on the CompuServe Forum, so now I can return to OHN full-strength. Well, after Heroes and Journeyman tonight.
(I had the weirdest dream this morning. It involved Russia, braces, time travel, and Red Sox baseball. Bizarre.)


Beth said...

Jenny, I don't know why she said it was too long. It was only four sentences, I think, and Kristin Nelson, in her pitch workshop, has been analyzing blurbs and pitches that are 8 or 9 sentences long -- and she thinks those are fine. This is a personal preference thing, I guess.

I do think she's right about being more specific with the conflicts, though.

Beth said...

Coming back to add...

I read the version you posted on EE. Your hook is the last sentence: she dies! Now that's a twist. Obviously you wouldn't want that on a backcover blurb, but I think it definitely belongs in the query letter. It's the one thing that really made the story stand out as different.

NBB said...

>>I had the weirdest dream this morning. It involved Russia, braces, time travel, and Red Sox baseball.<<

All I can say is: write a book.


Cindy said...

Hi Jenny:

Unrelated -
Somewhere, you mentioned a site stats meter. Which one was that, and do you recommend it?

I feel a little creepy about having a company collecting info for me. I know they do it all the time, but it feels weird.

Mind sharing?